One of the most common questions separated parents ask is:

“Can my child choose who they live with?”

The short answer is—not exactly. In Australia, children don’t get to decide where they live, but their views are taken into account, especially as they get older.

This page explains how a child’s voice is heard in family law cases, what age matters most, and how the court balances those views with the child’s overall wellbeing.

Do Children Have a Say in Where They Live?

Yes, but not the final say.

Under the Family Law Act, the court must consider any views expressed by the child—but only as one of many factors. The court doesn’t automatically do what the child wants.

Instead, the judge will look at:

• The child’s age and maturity

• Whether the child was influenced by a parent

• The reasons behind the child’s views

• The child’s emotional and psychological needs

• Any risk of harm

What Age Can a Child Decide?

There’s no magic number—but generally:

• Teenagers (around 14 and up) often have strong influence

• Children under 12 may be less likely to sway a decision, unless there are strong reasons

The older and more mature the child, the more weight their opinion carries.

Example

Emily is 15 and wants to live with her dad. She gives clear, mature reasons—closer to school, better routine, and a good relationship with her father. The court considers her views seriously and allows her to move in with him.

How Are a Child’s Views Heard?

The child doesn’t go into court or give evidence directly.

Instead, their views might be shared through:

• A Family Report by a psychologist or social worker

• An Independent Children’s Lawyer (ICL), appointed to represent the child’s best interests

• A child-inclusive mediation process (in some cases)

Can Parents Let the Child Choose?

Informally—yes. But legally, both parents still have responsibility, and any major changes to living arrangements should be agreed upon or approved by the court.

If one parent allows the child to move in without the other’s agreement, it can cause conflict—and may not be upheld in court.

Final Thought

While your child can’t make the final decision, their views do matter—especially as they grow older. The court’s job is to protect their wellbeing and stability, while giving them a voice in the process.

At Aussie Divorce, we explain how children’s views are handled in family law—clearly and calmly—so you know what to expect.