When parents separate, one of the biggest questions is: What happens now with the kids?

Who makes decisions? Who do the children live with? Do both parents still have rights?

In Australia, family law is clear about this: both parents usually share responsibility, even after separation. That doesn’t mean equal time—but it does mean equal involvement in key decisions.

Let’s break it down—no legal talk, just clear info so you can move forward with confidence.

What Is Parental Responsibility?

Parental responsibility means having the legal right—and duty—to make major decisions for your child.

This includes:

• Where they go to school

• Medical treatments

• Religion or cultural upbringing

• Major life decisions

In most cases, this is shared equally, even if your child lives mostly with one parent.

Example:
Tanya and Rob separated two years ago. Their son lives with Tanya, but both parents still make joint decisions about his schooling and medical care.

What the Law Says

Under the Family Law Act, both parents automatically have equal shared parental responsibility, unless:

• The court says otherwise

• There are concerns about family violence, abuse, or safety

This doesn’t mean 50/50 time. It means shared input on the big things in a child’s life.

Does Parental Responsibility Affect Who the Child Lives With?

Not directly.

Where a child lives and how much time they spend with each parent are separate issues from parental responsibility.

Example:
David and Jess have shared parental responsibility. Their daughter lives mostly with Jess but spends weekends and holidays with David. They still jointly decide which school she attends.

Can You Change Parental Responsibility?

Yes, but it usually needs a court order. The court will only change it if:

• There are safety concerns

• One parent is unwilling or unable to be involved

• There’s ongoing conflict that harms the child

What If One Parent Isn’t Involved?

If the other parent doesn’t want to be involved, you can still raise your child without needing constant approval—especially for day-to-day decisions.

But if you’re making big decisions alone (like changing schools), it’s best to document attempts to consult them.

Example:
After separation, Mel’s ex stopped all contact. Mel made sure to keep records of text messages and emails showing she tried to involve him in decisions.

What If You Disagree?

Try to work it out through:

• Mediation or Family Dispute Resolution

• A parenting plan

• Or, as a last resort, court orders

Always keep the focus on what’s best for the child.

Final Thought

Separation doesn’t mean giving up your role as a parent. You still matter. And in most cases, both parents stay involved in the big decisions—because your kids need you both.

At Aussie Divorce, we explain your rights and responsibilities in plain English—so you can be a confident, informed parent during and after separation.